Two Days to Recover

Well, it's taken me a few days to recover from my Saturday night out with The Mistress. We invented a new drink at Vinnie's Lounge in Savannah's in Carthage called the Twisted Matron. WATCH OUT! If you have more than four, you may find yourself vomiting in The Mistress's driveway.

As you know by now, I'm a proud married woman. Because of that, when I hit the Lounge or any other drinking establishment, I find myself in conversations with men that often START with them hitting on me and ending with me counseling them about their current or possible significant other.

This exact situation happened Saturday night at the Lounge. After realizing that my striking good looks were second to my intelligent conversation, the young man with whom I was speaking actually said, "See, you're like the perfect woman."

I threw my head back and indulged in a long, evil cackle. I thought, this guy is either one of the effin' stupidest men I've ever met or... one of the effin' smartest. The odds are with the former, I'm afraid.

Nonetheless, I continued my lovely conversation with the young man that ended with a hug and genuine thanks from him for the great advice.

Unfortunately, I clearly remember the gratitude, but I have no idea what advice I gave him.

Going Out Tonight

The Mistress and The Matron are hitting the town tonight. The Matron's husband is on a weekend camping trip with the kid, and The Mistress is going to treat her to a girl's night out. Where, oh where should we go?

Rubbernecking Kills...

We all know not to be texting while we're driving or putting mascara on as we're flying down the highway. Those types of behaviors cause accidents. It's a proven fact.

Well, I would like to know if flea markets have been researched regarding their contribution to traffic accidents!

On my way to work this morning, I passed by a flea market I see every day. Only today, they had put a bunch of new stuff outside the store. Well, naturally, I tried to see exactly what treasures might be available to purchase. As I rubbernecked the display, I let my car veer to the right until my tires hit the tread next to the shoulder that vibrates your car to let you know you are on your way to an accident. (By the way, meeting the genius who designed that is on my bucket list!)

I really think it might be wise to put some restrictions on flea markets allowing them only to put non-rubberneck-worthy items outside their stores.

It could save lives.

Loyalty

This is one of my three dogs. I had a professional photo shoot at my house recently, and she sat guard watching our backs the entire time. She's a lab mix and came from a farm outside of Carthage when she was just three months old. Our other two dogs are no-kill shelter rescues, so their loyalty seems to be to themselves first.

This dog's absolute need to protect and serve our family continues to amaze me every time I ponder it. I so badly wish the other two dogs had that same devotion, but they're both male.

Hee-hee!

The Mistress COULD be more resourceful....

You know, The Mistress says she's JUST going to use her new vibrating mascara as a pleasure device, but why not give the Southern Forest a little make-over while it's down there? Hell, throw on a little lipstick as well and she'll be ready for a night out... and in... and out... and in...

By the way, Mistress, I think we should name our Little Devils. We need to think on that...

Vibrating Mascara: Make-up or Masturbatory Aid?

So I'm trolling the make-up aisle at my local drugstore when I happen upon the strangest product. Vibrating mascara...I know, that's exactly what I thought. You just can't make this stuff up. Well, of course I bought it. I didn't feel as if it performed any better than my regular mascara. I've decided that now it shall be for self pleasuring purposes only. I would offer the manufacturer one suggestion...more girth. If I were in prison this would definitely be on my 'wish list'.

Just wait until the Matron says, "Hey Mistress, do you have any black mascara I can borrow?" Bahaha! That makes my little devil feel all warm and fuzzy...