Two Days to Recover

Well, it's taken me a few days to recover from my Saturday night out with The Mistress. We invented a new drink at Vinnie's Lounge in Savannah's in Carthage called the Twisted Matron. WATCH OUT! If you have more than four, you may find yourself vomiting in The Mistress's driveway.

As you know by now, I'm a proud married woman. Because of that, when I hit the Lounge or any other drinking establishment, I find myself in conversations with men that often START with them hitting on me and ending with me counseling them about their current or possible significant other.

This exact situation happened Saturday night at the Lounge. After realizing that my striking good looks were second to my intelligent conversation, the young man with whom I was speaking actually said, "See, you're like the perfect woman."

I threw my head back and indulged in a long, evil cackle. I thought, this guy is either one of the effin' stupidest men I've ever met or... one of the effin' smartest. The odds are with the former, I'm afraid.

Nonetheless, I continued my lovely conversation with the young man that ended with a hug and genuine thanks from him for the great advice.

Unfortunately, I clearly remember the gratitude, but I have no idea what advice I gave him.

Going Out Tonight

The Mistress and The Matron are hitting the town tonight. The Matron's husband is on a weekend camping trip with the kid, and The Mistress is going to treat her to a girl's night out. Where, oh where should we go?

Rubbernecking Kills...

We all know not to be texting while we're driving or putting mascara on as we're flying down the highway. Those types of behaviors cause accidents. It's a proven fact.

Well, I would like to know if flea markets have been researched regarding their contribution to traffic accidents!

On my way to work this morning, I passed by a flea market I see every day. Only today, they had put a bunch of new stuff outside the store. Well, naturally, I tried to see exactly what treasures might be available to purchase. As I rubbernecked the display, I let my car veer to the right until my tires hit the tread next to the shoulder that vibrates your car to let you know you are on your way to an accident. (By the way, meeting the genius who designed that is on my bucket list!)

I really think it might be wise to put some restrictions on flea markets allowing them only to put non-rubberneck-worthy items outside their stores.

It could save lives.

Loyalty

This is one of my three dogs. I had a professional photo shoot at my house recently, and she sat guard watching our backs the entire time. She's a lab mix and came from a farm outside of Carthage when she was just three months old. Our other two dogs are no-kill shelter rescues, so their loyalty seems to be to themselves first.

This dog's absolute need to protect and serve our family continues to amaze me every time I ponder it. I so badly wish the other two dogs had that same devotion, but they're both male.

Hee-hee!

The Mistress COULD be more resourceful....

You know, The Mistress says she's JUST going to use her new vibrating mascara as a pleasure device, but why not give the Southern Forest a little make-over while it's down there? Hell, throw on a little lipstick as well and she'll be ready for a night out... and in... and out... and in...

By the way, Mistress, I think we should name our Little Devils. We need to think on that...

Vibrating Mascara: Make-up or Masturbatory Aid?

So I'm trolling the make-up aisle at my local drugstore when I happen upon the strangest product. Vibrating mascara...I know, that's exactly what I thought. You just can't make this stuff up. Well, of course I bought it. I didn't feel as if it performed any better than my regular mascara. I've decided that now it shall be for self pleasuring purposes only. I would offer the manufacturer one suggestion...more girth. If I were in prison this would definitely be on my 'wish list'.

Just wait until the Matron says, "Hey Mistress, do you have any black mascara I can borrow?" Bahaha! That makes my little devil feel all warm and fuzzy...

Home Piercings

The Mistress was over the other day pondering a new piercing. I quickly offered to do it right there at home, but my husband acted like I'd be performing surgery or something! He scared the crap out of The Mistress, so we didn't end up doing it.

So, now I've watched a You-Tube video and found out what NOT to do. I'm hoping The Mistress will change her mind now that I have some training.

Two Cherokee County Commissioners Are Blind

Roger McKinney wrote an article that appeared in yesterday's Joplin Globe that made me both sick to my stomach and laugh out-loud at my computer screen.

No complaints at all about Mr. McKinney's actual writing, and I'd like to thank him for getting this issue in the paper and online.

Basically, the article says two of Cherokee County (KS) Commissioners are upset that they have to spend $280,000 to make curbs accessible for the disabled community as a result of a lawsuit settlement with Southeast Kansas Independent Living Resource Center (SKIL) made years ago. The lawsuit was an effort to get city streets in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) which was put into effect 19 years ago. The Commissioners say there is not enough money in the budget to comply with the guidelines in the settlement. SKIL says the county has really had 19 years to budget for ADA compliance.

If you read the quotes in the article, you'll involuntarily raise an eyebrow. The Commissioners' quotes read like a joke. I thought surely they were misquotes at first, and then I read the rest of the article. These Commissioners sound as though they and the taxpayers have somehow been victimized by the ADA and SKIL. But keep in mind, this lawsuit ended in a settlement "agreement."

Moreover, the Commissioners say the estimated cost is $280,000 to install some curb cutouts for accessible parking. Maybe the reason they can't afford to come into compliance is because they don't know how to bargain shop. And if that really is the best price they can get, they they are fighting the wrong battle. They should be bitching about the high costs the "curb cutout industry" is perpetuating in this economy.

No, really, I get angry when anyone complains about helping the disabled or the elderly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not willing to sign over my whole paycheck to those two groups. But I would like more of the taxes I already pay to go toward helping them. I'll withstand streets with potholes or live without a public transit trolley if it means the elderly and/or disabled communities will see more funding.

Doesn't it make you sick to think about a wheelchair-bound individual having to park behind a building and then wheel themselves around to the front to get through the front door of their job just because county officials have been fiscally irresponsible since the settlement came about? These two Commissioners make it sound as though all accessibility requirements made by the ADA are for non-taxpayers. I believe more people with disabilities would be gainfully employed if accessibility was a higher priority.

Maybe the Commissioners should get an education about the disabled community before they let themselves be quoted in the paper. Greg Jones of SKIL is quoted in the article as saying, “I wish the county commissioners would realize the number of people with disabilities in Cherokee County and the number of jobs those people create,” Jones said. I'm sure Jones could give the Commissioners plenty of information on just how big of a positive impact the disabled community can have on the local economy.

Coming into compliance with the ADA and the lawsuit settlement would enable the disabled community to earn and spend more money in their local community. It seems pretty simple to me.

The Great Sunday

The Mistress was over, and we had a blast having our photos taken by a professional. I felt prettier today than I have in a VERY long time...

The Matron's Little Devil is Smarter than The Mistress's

You should have your Little Devil do what my Little Devil did. He mixed up some kind of potion and poisoned my Little Angel!

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I, too, wondered why he didn't just use his pitchfork and shank her ass. When I asked, he said the cops would've pinpointed him right away.

It's cool, though. I said I'd be his alibi.

I'm just that kind of friend, I guess.

The Mistress's First Post!

So, The Matron is the mastermind behind the blog obviously. But, trust me when I warn you that I am the sexiness behind this operation. My brains are just an added bonus I wish wouldn't dictate my actions so often. Do you realize how much more I could be getting laid if my highly intelligent conscience wasn't getting in the way?

Why can't the little Devil on my shoulder pipe up a little louder sometimes?

Spider Flower or Cleome

This plant just popped up the other day. I'd never seen anything like it. The Mistress happened to be stopping by and knows a thing or two about wildlife. She, too, had never seen this particular flower. So, we Googled it and found it to be a cleome, sometimes called a "Spider Flower."

The leaves are my favorite part.

Livin' It Up

I'm sitting with my husband outside by a fire listening to some Merle on my new HP Netbook. It's a great little machine. I took this picture of the fire just a few minutes ago and then whipped together a playlist on YouTube. We're just smokin', chattin', and singin' in the middle of the woods. Only now, thanks to wireless Internet, I can update the blog, too.

This is my first test blog from my cell phone. We'll see how it works out.

The First Post

It's the very first post of the Sisters 2 Twisted blog! We'll try to post on a regular basis, but we do have real lives as well including jobs and families. We're both from the Carthage area and keep tabs on just about everything going on in Southwest, MO, especially those hidden stories in the Carthage area. We'd love to get your comments--good or bad, we don't discriminate--so we can have the opportunity to get to know our followers. Of course, we'll never let you get to know too much of us. You don't want your life THAT twisted.